Skip to main content

My Cats are Totally FIRED!

May 28, 2013 02:18PM ● Published by Kristen Lamb

By Kristen Lamb

I have two cats---Johnny and Roo-Bee. Johnny is a year and a half old and thinks he's a dog. Roo-Bee is eleven and an avid hunter...of baby socks and hair bands. Both of them are totally fired.

The story is this. Contractors are building new houses in what was once a field right behind us, so the "now-homeless" field mice apparently started a rock band and it didn't work out...so they decided they'd move in with us. Pippa (the dog) told them my cooking is awesome and The Spawn throws cereal like fairy dust, coating the house.

Mouse HEAVEN.

So yesterday, Hubby goes to move a blanket and a tiny field mouse comes running out. What do my cats do? They stand and WATCH. I squeal and shout instructions (because I don't want rabies) and also, someone needs to be Management *rolls eyes*. Meanwhile Hubby chases this inch-long mouse around the living room with a plastic cup.

My two cats fuzzy freeloaders?

Wow You should totally call pest control
Wow. You should totally call pest control.
Hey which cabinet has the snacks Pippa showed me where you had the catnip and now Ive got the munchies
Hey, which cabinet has the snacks? Pippa showed me where you had the catnip and now I've got the munchies...

Roo-Bee claims she hunts...useful things. Her defense? "What the hell? Are you now Lady Gaga? How are you going to style your hair with a MOUSE? I keep your bangs out of your face and your kid's feet WARM."

Admittedly, she has a point.

Johnny? He claims he was helping me as Assistant Manager and Shawn is the one who needs to try harder. In Johnny's words, "Shawn just doesn't live up to his potential."

I have to confess, this might be added to Shawn's quarterly review.

All this aside, Roo-Bee apparently needs cat training:

MICE
MICE.

Mouse image via Stephen Barnett Flikr Creative Commons.

Screen Shot 2013-04-24 at 35047 PM
NOT MICE.

Hair Band image via Stephen Depolo Flikr Creative Commons.

The mouse got away, and now is probably living in our couch while Coco Puffs rain down between the cushions like Mouse Manna. Johnny and Roo-Bee claim they didn't receive a proper training manual when abducted from the fields as kittens and thrust into a "world with no appropriate role models and we should be grateful they aren't in a gang or pregnant."

They also reminded us the Kitty Feeder was running low and the Cat Fountain needed to be topped off. Pippa wants to know if she can have a pet mouse.

NO!

Pippa claims she is helping with laundry but I KNOW she is hiding her mouse friends
Pippa claims she is "helping" with laundry, but I KNOW she is hiding her mouse friends.
Shouldnt you be doing the dishes You ARE a woman right Clean somethinglike my litter box
Shouldn't you be doing the dishes? You ARE a woman, right? Clean something...like my litter box.

Anyway, I hope we find the mouse and can scoop him outside, cuz he was super cute and this makes murdering him a little harder. My husband and I are total suckers. At the ranch we had glue traps because the mice were making a MESS of the house.

My husband spent half the summer shampooing field mice out of glue traps and setting them free.

We could get ANOTHER cat. Like a bad@$$ cat from the streets, used to having to KILL for his food...but, admittedly, my pets are a seriously bad influence,and then we'd just have another freeloader watching us as we scramble around the living room trying to catch a mouse.

What about you? Do you have freeloaders, too? Or maybe a dog who thinks he's a cat or cat who thinks she's a dog? Or do your pets get too crazy killing stuff and delivering it on your pillow? Dead mice in your shoes?

Like what you're reading? Subscribe to Mansfield Magazine's free newsletter to get regular updates



Embed this content on your website

Embed
Today kristen lamb mansfield magazine family humor pets pet humor funny animals
  • iNaturalist 101

    10/17/2017
    05:00PM — 06:00PM

    Joins us at the Mansfield Public Library for iNaturalist 101 and learn about becoming a citizen s...


  • Rombauer Vineyards Wine Dinner at Next Bistro

    10/17/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Rombauer Vineyards is coming to Next Bistro for an evening of wine, food and friends (both new an...


  • Holiday Sip & Shop

    10/18/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Need to get ahead in your holiday shopping or maybe just need some retail therapy? Stop by the bi...


  • 2017 Mansfield Farmers Market

    10/21/2017
    08:00AM — 01:00PM

    In continuous operation since 2004, the Mansfield Farmers Market has experienced a renaissance in...


  • Mini Bio Blitz

    10/21/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Nature lovers, join us for a Fall mini Bio Blitz where we will document the organisms at Oliver ...


  • LARGEST Fall Festival in Ellis County Presented by: Methodist Mansfield Medical Center Start...


  • Get Growing Mansfield

    10/21/2017
    10:00AM — 11:00AM

    Mansfield Water Utilities has partnered with the Mansfield Farmer's Market to present Get Growing...


  • Brunch Time!

    10/21/2017
    10:30AM — 11:30AM

    Watch our resident critters enjoy their Brunch every Saturday at 10am! Our arachnids and amphibia...


  • Fall Scavenger Hunt

    10/21/2017
    01:00PM — 02:30PM

    Come see Oliver Nature Park during fall to explore how nature changes with the seasons. Enjoy a ...


  • Pumpkin Help-Create Events at Vetro

    10/21/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Are you "pumped" up for pumpkin season? Join us at Vetro Glassblowing Studio & Gallery during the...


  • Trunk-or-Treat + Pumpkin Palooza

    10/21/2017
    05:00PM — 09:00PM

    Any family, business, or community group is welcome to participate. This is a great opportunity t...


  • Maverick Home Volleyball Game

    10/21/2017
    06:30PM — 08:30PM

    Volleyball match being hosted at The College Park Center by the UT Arlington Mavericks Collegiate...


  • Hip Hop Cowboys

    10/21/2017
    07:00PM

    Hip Hop Cowboys, the nation’s first event to combine the extreme sport of rodeo with a celebratio...


  • Oleg Larshin, Violin

    10/21/2017
    08:00PM — 10:30PM

    Join the LCSO for it's 2017-18 Season Premiere of "Vienna, City of Music!" The LCSO will feature ...


  • The Addams Family

    10/22/2017
    02:00PM

    Join us this October for an award-winning family musical full of love, laughter, and spooky, kook...


  • Junior Angler

    10/22/2017
    04:00PM — 07:00PM

    Junior Angler classes introduce youth ages 6 – 16 to the life‐long sport of fishing. Classes fol...


  • DFW Solar Awareness Day

    10/23/2017
    12:00AM

    Hello! We are putting together a day for solar awareness in the DFW area! Talk to your friends...


  • Mansfield Sunrise Toastmasters

    10/23/2017
    07:00AM — 08:00AM

    Want to be better at negotiating your salary with your boss? Networking at business functions? Pi...


  • Third Thursday - Haunt the Block

    10/19/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00PM

    Let the kids (and adults) put their costumes on early and come out to trick or treat, take ghost ...


  • Mansfield Ghost Tours 2017

    10/19/2017
    06:00PM — 08:25PM

    Come join us for haunted history and ghostly tales from all around Mansfield! This year we will h...


  • Mansfield Ghost Tours 2017

    10/20/2017
    06:00PM — 08:25PM

    Come join us for haunted history and ghostly tales from all around Mansfield! This year we will h...


  • LARGEST Fall Festival in Ellis County Presented by: Methodist Mansfield Medical Center Start...


  • Fall Scavenger Hunt

    10/21/2017
    01:00PM — 02:30PM

    Come see Oliver Nature Park during fall to explore how nature changes with the seasons. Enjoy a ...


  • Trunk-or-Treat + Pumpkin Palooza

    10/21/2017
    05:00PM — 09:00PM

    Any family, business, or community group is welcome to participate. This is a great opportunity t...


  • Hip Hop Cowboys

    10/21/2017
    07:00PM

    Hip Hop Cowboys, the nation’s first event to combine the extreme sport of rodeo with a celebratio...


  • At the Warmack Library on Wednesday, October 25 from 4:30-5:30 p.m. All ages welcome. Join us...


  • Creep Fest 2017

    10/27/2017
    07:00PM — 09:00PM

    Love the feeling you get watching a scary movie? Want to find friends who like horror films and b...


 

Image title
Mansfield Area High School Sports

Community Champions