“We really just try to keep the focus on the students here in Mansfield,” While continuity is important, holiday traditions should also be flexibe to adapt to changes in developmental stages or life situations. Holiday traditions that make sense when children are young might not be appropriate as they get older. Single parenting or co-parenting may necessitate integrating past traditions into a new lifestyle, creating new routines and even eliminating some activities that spark painful memories.

 Whatever the reason, it's never too late to add or create meaningful rituals that your family will cherish. Here are some family holiday tradition ideas:

• A family holiday program assigns each family member a role for contriuting a song, reading or artistic presentation of something that is inspirational or encouraging. It may be something family members have created or something they want to share.
• Treat your family to the smells of a home-cooked holiday breakfast. The first meal of the day is often something fast, simple and soul-less. Instead it can be a special, shared culinary experience.
• For the college student, create a holiday countdown package that includes an inexpensive gift, note or memento from home for them to open daily as they go through those last couple of weeks of the semester.
• Making your own ornaments or gifts can be a wonderful family event. Give family members an ornament in the same shape. They can customize it using fabric paints, fabric sparkle, felt, tinsel, stickers and more. A young child can create a homemade photo ornament, using heavy cardboard or thin foam matting to make the frame. Help the child add a photo and decorate the frame with glitter, rhinestones, glitter pens, stickers, etc.
• Archive your family history by recording story-telling times at family get-togethers or giving family possessions along with a letter that tells about the person who once owned it and any special memories connected to it. Family video newsletters can create lasting memories. Each family member should sit at the "anchor desk" to give his or her news, including pictures when possible. The important part is the news shared and the fun created, not the quality of the production.
• The Christmas Eve movie tradition is a fun one. At home or in the theater, see a traditional movie or a new one each year. Gathering afterwards over hot chocolate or other family favorites is a natural time for sharing and enjoying being together.
• A white elephant exchange offers an outlet for creativity by passing on something you already have that is likely to bring a smile to the recipient. The gift should be fun, not practical.
• For extended family and friends, try hosting a holiday cookie swap. Ask guests to bring a cookie cutter, a batch of homemade cookies, and a stack of cards with their recipe on them. After feasting on cookies, everyone goes home with a recipe, some holiday treats, and a new cutter.

Time together is at the heart of the best family traditions. I believe Sandy Osborne, Montana State University professor of human development and family science, summarized it best: "Instead of having the TV going in the background, turn it off and talk to one another. Spend time looking at a photo album or playing a game. Play a board game that you played as a child and tell them about your memories...It's a way of connecting."

In the end, isn't that what we want from family holiday traditions? The activity is the vehicle, not the destination.

 Sandy Redd is assistant to director of programs for The Parenting Center, a non-profit organization serving Tarrant County. She has a doctorate in Marriage and Family Counseling and is a licensed professional counselor and licensed marriage and family therapist.